Dedicated

In a world with a worship of thinness and the guilt and sin of the body propelling us, one woman takes on an epic weight to bear.

Image Description: Movie poster for the short film “Dedicated” by Gwynneth VanLaven (Director, Writer, Producer, Cast). The image is a close-up of a pink-skinned arm and hand thrusting downward on a white metal bar in the dirt. Text in the top right reads, “Thinness is worshipped and the body is shamed. To carry this is an epic weight to bear,” and in the bottom right, “With the music of Hildegard von Bingen Performed by the Chronos Ensemble.”

Director Statement

I experiment with a weaving of blackness, Her burden a dedication to the void: a zeroed out scale, the blackout of an empty belly, the disappearance of the body. Entering into a walk with weight obsession, we see and lose sight with each step. It becomes a habitual walk with the void; in the dark promise of emptiness is the promise of fulfillment. This reflects the solo journey many make when bearing the burden of a world in which a brownie is sin, a missed workout is shame and moral guilt. I ask us to reflect on what we dedicate ourselves to, or to whom.

Survival is a group effort, but importantly, this film was a solo project, from conception to production to finish. From bloodied ankles to cracked feet to Gaffer’s tape in my hair, this is my trip to where I now stand, which is not quite “here” but no longer “there.”


Here are some images of my process. None are film stills, but all are stills of the performance of making. Enjoy!

A set of four film stills and outtakes from the projects Losing My Religion and Dedicated

As a writer I feel very attached to words, but (or, consequently?) when something can be profoundly moving without a single line of dialogue, I am extra blown away. The music, like the images: beautiful, stirring, and haunting, but in such a way that you don’t feel compelled to brace yourself for anything – you can just lean into the ride, as if the filmmaker is leading us by the hand and we as the viewers can trust that they will show us something intensely meaningful but not traumatizing. An incredible feat to pull off.” -Dr. L Dunstan, MD, MPH

A set of four film stills and outtakes from the projects Losing My Religion and Dedicated

Image Descriptions: A red-haired, full-figured white woman in a blue hospital gown interacts with a tall white medical scale in various ways. The scale resembles a cross; in some she appears to lift it up on her back as if her “cross to bear,” in another, a crucifix, and in others, she shrouds it with her gown.